Morning Prayer

My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.   Psalm 5:3

This Psalm has echoed in my heart since the first day I read it. Morning has always been my time for devotions.  If I did not take that time first thing in the morning, it did not happen. Then I started having babies. Lack of sleep and general morning chaos wrecked havoc with my devotions. Add in the confusion and despair that followed my church break-up, and my devotions became almost nonexistent. There were seasons when I would begin them again, but I could not seem to keep them going.

Then, last summer, the doctor put me on a medication that gave me lots of energy. Bouncing off the walls energy. I couldn't sit still for more than a few minutes, and I began waking up early in the morning - early meaning 5:30 AM or earlier. This is not normal for me. Since I was up that early anyway, I thought this would be a good prayer time. The only problem was that every time I tried to pray, someone else would get up and want attention. (My children tend to be early risers.) Frustrated, I began walking in the morning, just to have some quiet time.

This habit has become a treasured time for me. I handle the frustrations of the day much better if I have my morning time with the Lord. I was only on the medication for a brief time, but the energy and habit of waking early has stayed with me. I have been surprised by this, but thought maybe it was simply a lingering aftereffect.

Then came daylight savings.  I thought, This is it. There is no way I will be able to get up an hour earlier. I did not get up an hour earlier. I got up two hours earlier. It was completely bizarre.  Not only was I getting up earlier than normal, but I was also more wide awake than normal!

As I was walking on the second morning of this, an unbelievable thought popped into my head.

Maybe, just maybe, the Lord wants to talk to me in the morning as much as I want to talk to Him!

What an incredible thought! It's even in the Scriptures.

Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.
Psalm 62:8

Arise, cry out in the night: in the beginning of the watches pour out thine heart like water before the face of the Lord:  Lamentations 2:19

I am completely blown away. The God of Heaven actually wants me to talk to Him. Somehow, I thought that prayer was only for my benefit - something I was supposed to do to show my faith.

But prayer is so much more than that. Prayer is how we build our relationship with God. The same God who sent His Son to redeem His fallen creation wants to have an ongoing relationship with us. That's what love is. Love is doing whatever you can to spend time with the ones you love. Whether that means taking time out of your schedule, sacrificing your resources, mending bridges...these are things we do when we love someone. God is not an absent parent - making sure we have what we need physically while He goes off and does something else. Instead, He wants to be fully integrated into every part of our lives. My mind has difficulty grasping this kind of love from the Creator of the universe.

I have learned more about prayer during these morning walks than I ever thought possible. As the wonder of Christ's saving work becomes more clear in my life, I have completely changed the way I pray. In my group at Bible Study Fellowship, we are handed a list of prayer requests, or A.S.K.'s, each week. Do not call them Asks. They are A.S.K.'s, and any leader in BSF will correct you immediately if you forget. Why?

A.S.K. comes from Matthew 7:7-8

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Okay, I get that. Why the big deal? Ask, A.S.K. - it's still just a prayer request, right? Not exactly. There is sooo much more to it than that, as I discovered a few months ago.

Sometime in February, I came to a crossroads in my life. I needed some answers to something that was critically important. I knew if I sought for counsel among those I loved, I would get diametrically opposed answers. I needed to know the truth for myself. I needed the Lord to make the answer clear to me from His Word. Without realizing it, I applied the A.S.K. principle.

I started asking questions, and seeking for their answers in the Word of God. At first, I did not find much except more questions. I needed to seek some more. I would tweak my questions, seek for more answers in the Word of God, and once again, knock at the door of heaven. I repeated this process over and over. One amazing day, the door of heaven opened, and the light nearly blinded me. I had my answer, and it seemed so clear and simple I could not understand why I had not seen it before. With the answer to my question, came also an understanding of what it meant to A.S.K.

Ask:

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  Philippians 4:6

I think most of us have this part down, although the thanksgiving part sometimes eludes me.


Seek:

This is the step I tend to forget. Oh, I remember the obvious application:

Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Isaiah 55:6

but there is another application that I have often neglected:

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

In my quest for answers, this part was critical.


Knock:

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: Matthew 7:7

This principal has completely changed the way I pray. I begin with thanking the Lord - for the opportunity to meet with Him one more time, for the day, for the beauty around me, for the sacrifice of Jesus, and for anything else I can think of. Then, as I bring people and situations before the Lord, I try also to seek the Kingdom of God - to ask that God will bring His glory into the situation. I bring all to the Lord with a humble heart, instead of pounding, begging, or demanding, as I used to do. I recognize that He is in control. I knock gently as I lay these requests at His door.

The results have been incredible. Most of the circumstances I've prayed for have not changed, but the hearts of the people involved have changed dramatically - even mine. Perhaps especially mine. I am beginning to understand what it means to have a peace that passes understanding, and a joy that the world does not give and cannot take away. Peace and joy that are not dependent on circumstances but are instead dependent on my relationship with the Savior of my soul, and with an absolute trust that He loves me more than I love me. A trust that His love is far greater than mine, and whatever the circumstances, He is only interested in the absolute best for me and for those I love.

When I can remember these things, my heart dances, and I rejoice.

May the Lord wrap you in His arms and may you also rejoice in His love.

Jules

Writing By Faith

Voices.

It's the voices that get to me.

Soundless voices that echo endlessly in the back of my head.

It began with a still, small voice that told me to write. A compulsive command that resonated through my veins and made my fingers itch. I ignored it as long as I could, but it was relentless. Almost a year ago now, I gave up, and I began to write my story.

I like that voice. That voice gives me permission to do what I want to do anyway. To play with words and weave pictures and somehow, somehow proclaim to the world the glorious song of redemption that plays endlessly in my heart. I can't sing it - but maybe I can write it.

But as I get deeper into my story, deeper into the pit from which I've been redeemed, the other voices begin hounding me. Sometimes barely audible, sometimes like a pack of yipping chihuahuas, tearing at the edges of my paper,

"What do you think you're doing? Nobody's going to want to read this! Why would they? Who wants to read about someone else's personal angst?"

I hesitate. My fingers fumble at the keys. My words refuse to flow smoothly. Maybe the chihuahuas are right, I am being stupid.

"Write."

It's that still, quiet voice again, and it is a command. I obey, but inside, the battle rages.

However, as my Bible Study Fellowship leader keeps repeating, we serve a kind, gracious God who never calls us to do what He will not equip us to finish.

Just when the yipping starts to pull me under, it is time for the Winter 2015 Oregon Christian Writer's Conference. I am tired. I am ready to give up. I don't really want to go - but my son and my sister are going. I have promised a report to my critique group. I've already registered. Pride won't let me back out, so I go.

I go to a place my Heavenly Father prepared for me months ago, before I even knew I would have a need. I find I am not the only one who writes simply because that quiet voice won't let me stop.

It begins early...before the keynote speaker is even introduced. Maxine begins with devotions, reminding us for whom we write, asking God to be the center of our works, asking that He will use our writing to bring glory to Him and value to the reader.

She then brings us to Isaiah 41:17-20

17 When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the Lord will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them.

18 I will open rivers in high places, and fountains in the midst of the valleys: I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water.

19 I will plant in the wilderness the cedar, the shittah tree, and the myrtle, and the oil tree; I will set in the desert the fir tree, and the pine, and the box tree together:

20 That they may see, and know, and consider, and understand together, that the hand of the Lord hath done this, and the Holy One of Israel hath created it.

Trees found in the desert. Many varieties, each with a distinctive use. Because we all come from different backgrounds - different soils, if you will - yet those very differences have equipped us with everything we need to accomplish the purpose God has designed for us. We are HIS. What He has spoken will come to pass.  Isaiah 55:11

11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

As these words sink into my doubting heart, the keynote speaker, Bill Giovannetti is introduced.

Bill brings us to the story of Peter walking on the water - but he gives the story a twist. He points out that the miracle of the story is not that Peter walked on water - physics is easy for the creator of physics. The real miracle of the story is that Peter got out of the ship. He hitched up his robe and stepped over the side with the other disciples (like my yipping chihuahuas) watching in fear from the safety of the ship. He likened Peter stepping out on the water to our putting pen to paper - or fingers to the keyboard, for the more technologically minded.

The point is that our job is faith. Our job is to get out of the boat - to start writing. It is God's job to control the outcome. He sees the big picture and weaves together our stories with the stories of others. We can't see where our writing may lead - all we see is the mess. "Heaven is less interested in our getting published than in our keeping faith with God." Nothing leaves you as vulnerable as stepping out in faith. However, "If you walk in faith, grace will find you."

"If God has called you to write, the only way to sink is to stop writing."

Forget the yapping chihuahuas, the nay-sayers, the fearful who try to keep you in the boat. Jesus expects you to live a life of bold faith.

Why?

Because He is standing right beside you. It is not the size of your faith that matters. It is the fact of your faith - and the size of your Savior. "If you have enough faith to pray, you have faith enough."

That was just the first session. In the second session, Bill got personal.

He talked about the labels that have been slapped on us. Words and attitudes that have been hammered at us until we believed them and made them our own.

But those labels are not who we are - not anymore - not once we have accepted the sacrifice of Christ.

As Christians, Christ is our identity.

Paul said it best in Galatians 2:20

20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

When we come to Christ and accept His grace, the first thing grace does is rehab our identity.

Through grace we are transformed from sinner to saint; addict to redeemed.

Through grace the guilty are forgiven and the worthless become precious.

By grace, those labeled stupid or incompetent find themselves able to do all things through Christ.

By grace, the lost and forgotten are engraved on the palms of His hands.

Forget the labels this world has pasted on you - go write the words God has given you. Write from your pain, your passion, your fear, your joys. All good writing is emotional. Emotions are the threads that bind our writing to the hearts of our readers. Humans need heat and light - the light of God's truth mediated through the heat of our emotions.

In the end, the goal of our writing, our aim, the outcome we pray the Lord will grant us is to

"Take the reader by the hand, and walk them home to their true self in Christ."


If my story can do that for one person, then it is worth it to write.

God bless,

Jules