My journey began 7 years ago when my second son was a year old. We were having financial difficulties: paying rent and utilities - barely - but completely unable to pay on old debts. I was advised to get a job to make up the difference and leave my husband if he couldn't take care of us properly. Somehow, I just couldn't look into the eyes of my two little boys who adored their daddy, and tell them they couldn't be with him because he didn't make enough money to suit me. I did, however, obediently try to find a way to make money myself.
So began 6 months of hell. My dishonor toward my husband and feelings of financial superiority ruined the joy of our home. To make things worse, every time I found a way to make money of my own, David's sources of income completely dried up and we were worse off than when I wasn't earning money.
Then came the straw that broke the rebellious wife's back. While my husband was completely unable to work for a month due to surgery, I turned up pregnant. It wasn't planned. It was, however, the end of any possibility of me going to work. Child care with three kids under 5 would completely eat up anything I would be able to make. I completely surrendered and said, "Ok, Lord, it's David's job to provide for this family. If our credit is ruined; if our lights get shut off; if we have to live on the streets; that's his responsibility. Not mine. My job is to take care of my husband, my home and my family. I can't do any more than that."
I couldn't believe what happened next.
For the first time in over a year, I felt completely at peace. I felt joy enter my heart. I felt like someone had set the reset button on my heart. I felt hope. Not only that, but during that month when it was impossible for David to work, we were able to sell two pianos and pay all our bills. It was three years before we had another monetary problem, and we have never had a run of poor income as bad as we had for those 6 months and the 3 months prior.
From this I learned two important lessons: First (and there's people who won't like this!), my husband, not my pastor, is my head. (Yes, it was my pastor I was trying to obey when I tried to get my own job.) Second, there is definitely a dividing line between my responsibilities and my husband's. While this is different for each couple, I would like, in these posts, to explore where the Bible draws the line.
Hello Hello Ms. Hannigan!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am proud to be your first follower. :) Very nice initial post. I am happy to see that giving it up to God returned the joy to your life. There was a time in my marriage where it was filled with angst and not that I gave it to God, because I can't say that I honestly did...but once I let go of "myself" I suppose then that is what made the difference for me. I was happier in my relationship with Jeremy and I still am. i look forward to your future posts. Hopefully someday I will get going on my own blog one of these times.
p.s. for those of you who don't know Julie babysat Emily and me right around the time we saw Annie on stage. I was maybe 7 or 8-ish? We were obsessed w/ Annie, thus our very next babysitter (Julie) was aptly names....Ms. Hannigan.
Love you girl! Keep up the good work
Lisa
Good stuff. Good to hear your testimony about how God dealt with you, even when it was a "hard-knock life," Mrs. Hannigan! You are very good at communicating your thought. Looking forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteMark Streit
I guess my questions would be:
ReplyDelete1) I'm a guy. Can I ask a question?
2) If I can ask a question...what about the wives and mothers who do work, or who have to work?
Julie, I am happy you are sharing your words! We've had many many talks about this. It's funny because we had opposite experiences (you went home, I went to work) but we both have landed in the same spot - a peaceful relationship.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how I had to be able to gain some independence to fix mine, and you had to give some of yours back to David.
Mark, for us I had to go to work because staying home was killing us and me. Now that I've had a year in the business world, I'm ready to take on my role more as a mother and wife. This last year has moved me mentally from where Jeff is someone who Lord's over me and he holds all the cards to my husband. Now I completely understand the stress and pressure he's under. I also know that we have gained a respect for one another we have never had. Yes, I probably still drive him up a wall...but...he thinks I'm cute, so that's what counts.
Hey there Jules,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your honesty in regards to the struggles you faced, being a wife and a mother and a woman who wants to follow God. I find myself in that same boat, as it is hard to figure out sometimes what is really required of us by God as woman. We are told to respect our husbands, we are told to honour them, we are told that we are their help mates, but how to fill these roles in a godly way, seems to be the struggle that we woman face.
A few weeks ago, while i was at a bible study at our church, I was answering one of the questions about woman honouring a respecting their husbands. It is from Ephesians 5. Anyways as I was praying through the answer, I believe that the lord gave me some great insight into the role of a woman, within her household. If you are interested, you can check out my article that I posted on my website, entitled How does a Christian woman respect her Husband. It is a fairly long article so I split it into 3 pieces. Anyway, if you would like to have a look and leave a comment, you can go to www.thecostofdiscipleship.com
Keep up the writing Jules, keep being real, christian woman every where need to know that we are not losing our minds!!!
Have a great day
God bless you
Brenda
Mark - All wives and mothers DO work and have to work. Proverbs 31 - "She works WILLINGLY with her hands." You missed the point of the story. I was trying to work outside the home AGAINST my husband's will. And showing disdain for his ability to provide for me in the process. It isn't about rules. I cannot dictate for someone else what they should or should not do in their situation or relationship. This is about process and attitude - the how and why I do what I do. It's a song. It has complex harmonies and melodies. As each woman learns to line up her life with the word of God, she creates a slightly different melody that will eventually blend into something incredible. You can't do that with rules and regulations. God didn't intend for women to be a bunch of robots, but for each to be uniquely fitted to "meet" the needs of one distinctly individual man.
ReplyDeleteAmen Jules - God did not create any of to be robots!!
ReplyDeleteOops! Sorry. There I go thinking like a guy again. I will gracefully back out now. (Besides, the pink is driving me nuts!) And I know you ladies NEVER stop working. My amazing stay-at-home wife is working from the time she gets up to long after I am done with my work day. Here's to godly women!
ReplyDeleteVery, very good. You are an excellent writer, Jules - didn't know that about you. I will enjoy reading your offerings - thank you for your testimony! It's such a blessing to see how the Lord works in our individual lives, and this subject has been long in coming. It's been on my heart since my boys were young, and still is. It's a long process, but the Lord is helping me know myself, my spouse, my family, and is lining me up with His will. Your husband and children are blessed to have such a wonderful & caring spouse and mother. And I am very blessed to have you for a sister. God's really blessed me in that area! You are a beautiful woman of God ~ love you!
ReplyDeleteSo you finally did it, congratulations.
ReplyDeleteVery good write up and soul provoking.
This will be good for you. I enjoyed it very much.
This is what The Lord wants from us, to be open to His will, not to be swayed by others but to see His will and purpose in Our Lives.
Love you Mo.