Yes, I called it an excuse. Because sometimes you feel like you need an excuse. Because the guy at the park is doing everything in his power to convince you your son will not be able to find his place in society if he does not spend enough time immersed in his own age group. This after complementing you on how articulate he is and how well he interacts with his siblings.
The truth is, when you homeschool, the world lands on your shoulders. Socialization, academics, spiritual life, character, special needs (even "normal" kids sometimes have them) - the responsibility for all of it is on mom's shoulders. Yes, the mom's...sorry dads, but even a supportive dad is rarely involved enough to shift the blame. These are the children God gave us, and we moms all feel that if anything goes wrong in any of the above areas, it is because we did something wrong.
It is sooo much easier to shift that blame over to someone else: Let church handle the spiritual life; school handle socialization, academics and special needs. What a relief! My only responsibility is character, and if something goes wrong I can always blame it on the "wrong" friends.
Seriously, if your only concern is academics, there are some really good schools out there that will keep your child in lock-step with the rest of their age group, teach them to properly diagram a sentence, and have them doing calculus by twelve. By age sixteen, your children will be perfect cybermen. (Oops! Did I just say that out loud?)
How much do you love your children? Do you ever take a moment to look down the road at their future and consider what their life will look like in thirty years? I do...and I am completely terrified. I am terrified that I will dot every i and cross every t, and thirty years from now be raising my grandchildren, who are horribly scarred due to divorce and want nothing to do with God.
I am raising my children with my grandchildren in mind. In the end, I know that regardless of what I do, it will be God's grace and mercy that saves them from the above fate. However, as Gregg Harris so often says, "Give God something to work with!"
Homeschooling, for me, has very little to do with academics. If I can give my children a love for books and learning, a basic foundation in math, and a good work ethic, the academics will take care of themselves. I know that sounds sacrilegious to the well-educated out there, but my children will go a lot farther in life with a love for learning than they will with a head stuffed full of facts and a hatred for academics.
Coming off my soapbox now and back to my title...
The conversation I opened with really happened. I had allowed my children to go ahead of me into a park. When I followed about five minutes later, this gentleman stopped me. He told me he was very impressed with how William carried himself, how intelligent he was to talk to, and how well he looked after the little ones. As I was starting to stand a little straighter and feel like I was doing something right, he added, "He says you homeschool. Do you realize how badly he needs to be around boys his age?"
Caught off-guard, I pointed out that my children were learning to interact with all age groups, not just their own.
"That's okay when they're younger, but your older son needs to be around other boys. He will be confused about his place in life if he is not able to work it out in a group of boys his age. Being around adults will keep him from growing up. He needs his peers to teach him where he stands in society."
I blinked. This was a new one. As this man was not a Christian, there was not much I could say to change his mind.
I finally stammered that I would try to get him into a co-op this fall, and made my escape.
His words stayed with me. I am not nearly as articulate in repeating his argument as he was in presenting it. The very idea boggled my mind. I was apparently supposed to throw my son in the middle of a dog pack so he could figure out his place before he joined the dog-eat-dog world outside my doors. While I knew he was wrong, the mommy guilt was setting in. Maybe I should work harder to get my sons more interaction. Would my introvert come out of his shell more if I threw him in with just his age group? Would my oldest always remain a child if he was not thrown into a dog fight to prove his alpha-dogness?
Oh, wait...I am not raising dogs. I'm raising men. Men who will one day, Lord willing, become sons of God (John 1:12), and have dominion over the animals - including dogs.
A few days later, I ran across this scripture:
Psalm 144:12-15
12 That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace:
13 That our garners may be full, affording all manner of store: that our sheep may bring forth thousands and ten thousands in our streets:
14 That our oxen may be strong to labour; that there be no breaking in, nor going out; that there be no complaining in our streets.
15 Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea, happy is that people, whose God is the Lord.
What homeschool parent doesn't know verse 12? But I never connected it with verse 11. I had read the chapter many times; yet I never noticed what David was asking God to do so that "our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth," and "our daughters as cornerstones". Those happy people "whose God is the Lord" had been delivered from something before those things could happen. Here is the preface to all of those blessings; the prayer from verse 11:
11 Rid me, and deliver me from the hand of strange children, whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood:
Blink...blink.
I know the ungodly do not want to accept Bible answers, but I finally had one. This is why I homeschool. I may not be able to deliver my children from all the pressures of the sinful world around them, but I can make them harder to reach. The word "strange" in Bible days did not mean "unusual in a weird way", it meant unknown. The children of strangers. I cannot know every child in a school, how they are raised, and what their values are. If I want the Lord to "rid me, and deliver me from the hand of strange children", I cannot throw my children into their midst on a daily basis. That's like asking God to keep you warm in a snowstorm as you wander outside without a coat.
Proverbs 13:20
20 He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
I want my children to be wise. I need to find them companions that are wise. I need to put a coat on them, as it were. How?
Romans 12:21 has a good answer:
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
I cannot shirk my responsibility. But I can turn to the Lord for help, for strength, for patience and for wisdom. I can use the tools God has given me: His Word, prayer, and other godly families. Sometimes you have to search for these tools, but God will not ask you to do what He will not provide tools to accomplish. Finally, I can run to the cross of Christ, recognize that He died because I fail. He shed His blood to make up the difference. It is not just on MY shoulders anymore, if I will get in the yoke with Him and let Him take the lead.
I close with Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Be encouraged mothers. Shake off the doubts in your head, the nay-sayings of unbelievers, and the well-meant but unbiblical advice of believers. Stand firm in the light of the Lord, and, above all, remember this:
Jesus loves your children even more than you do.
God Bless,
Jules
No comments:
Post a Comment