I Surrender...All?

                         

All to Jesus, I surrender

All to Him I freely give...

The words from the old hymn drift upward from the radio as I drive home on this lovely Spring day. What memories it brings back!

When I was young, I loved this song. I sang it with gusto. Of course I surrendered all to Jesus! I was completely secure in my "surrender;" maybe even a bit proud. 

I had no idea what I was talking about.

Fast forward twenty years--to a time when things had been taken away from me that I didn't know were up for discussion. A time when my well-planned life had completely fallen apart, and my hopes, dreams, expectations, and absolute assurances had all crumbled into dust. 

Suddenly, the song is not so easy to sing. Discussing the song with a new friend, we shook our heads together and agreed the song should not even be in the church repertoire, because no one could sing it truthfully. They either didn't know what "all" meant, or they were lying through their teeth.

That was four years ago, and once again my perspective has changed. 

Over the past ten years, I have been asked to surrender my church, my friends, my husband, the house I loved, my control...even my children. Instead of tossing the song aside as unrealistic, I have come to understand I do need to surrender all. I have also learned that "all" in this case actually means, "ALL."

Some things I fought God over for years before I finally surrendered--only to find my struggle had been keeping me from a beautiful treasure He wanted to give me. The surrender gets easier as I

1) acknowledge God's sovereignty and bow to His power over my weakness and

2) remember He is always working for His glory...and my good.

Sometimes I believe I have finally done it--finally surrendered it all. Pat myself on the back. What a good Christian I am!

But Jesus knows my heart, He sees the things I've hidden even from myself, and He wants it ALL. 

I'm walking along, minding my own business, thinking I'm doing pretty good at submitting to my Lord and WHAM! Out of nowhere, something I have held onto is ripped from my grasp.

"But Lord, YOU gave me that! I'm supposed to hold onto it." I protest in agony.

No answer. 

"You talked directly to Abraham and Samuel," I grumble under my breath.

Still no answer.

Reluctantly, rebellious to my core, I take it to the Lord in prayer.

"Lord, I confess I'm rebellious. I want to surrender, but I can't."

Then I remember. I really can't. Nor is it my job. My job is to do what I have just done: confess my weakness and inability to Christ. Through my tears, a calming peace steals over my soul. The answer, as always, is in the Word of God.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness." I John 1:9

I don't have to do this on my own. Slowly, I mentally pry open my fingers and ask my Lord to help me surrender even this thing to Him.

And He does.

All to Jesus I surrender

All to Him I freely give.

I will ever love and trust Him

In His presence daily live.

This song is not the self-righteous proclamation of the hypocrite. It is the heart cry of the true believer. As I sing the song, I am reminded right now, today, there are things I need to surrender. I sing in faith and humility and brokenness, opening my hands to release what I am clinging to in this moment.

Tomorrow there will be other things. Tomorrow I will need to sing the song again. And the day after tomorrow. And the day after that. And next week. And next year. And...you get the picture.

Is there something in your life you have not surrendered? Do you understand how much Jesus loves you and wants to mold it into something that will bring glory to Him and good to you?

Jesus is not jealous and spiteful. But He is jealous in His intense love for us, determined that nothing block the healing relationship He wants with us.

Many things He asks of us seem opposite to logic. Surrender in the world is defeat.

Surrender in Christ is victory.

Trust His plan, rest in His love, and let go of all else.

May your day be richly blessed, 

Jules