Joy in the Broken

                                                                                                                                             

                                 

Broken, marred... the light shines through the cracks. A vessel held up in unmerited favour awaits, in reborn hope, maybe even, renewed purpose. Maybe this time the kind saviour will heal the battered scars. It waits... meanwhile, light still shines. Shines through the cracks.  Roland Gotzke








Have you ever wished you could bottle the joy of the Lord so you could just hand it out to those in need?

To the lost,
                  to the hurting,

                                        to the broken.

                                                           
Because we are all broken. Some of us worse than others, some of us more aware of it than others, but sin has broken all of us. We are hurting, and we need joy.

There is only one remedy for our broken, wounded, bleeding spirits: the Cross of Christ and His precious blood poured out for us.

One would think, after all God has done for me, after the way He has loved me and drawn me and cared for me and redeemed me, that I would stand boldly in His love and walk in faith. That I would claim His salvation and rise up, unbroken, ready to tackle anything life throws at me.

Nope.

I'm still broken. I stumble blindly along the path He has clearly revealed. I weep with gratitude over His miraculous provision in the past, yet tremble in fear and unbelief over the things I face today. I proclaim the beauty of His plan and His ways, and even His laws which He gave me for my good, while desperately seeking a way to break His laws, because my case is "special".

I find a true brother in Paul when he mourned,

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.   Romans 7:18-19

My heart cries with him as he exclaims:

Wretched man that I am! Who shall save me from this body of death?!!!! (vs. 24)

Yep. Broken. And yet...Paul also gives us a glimmer of hope.

There is therefore now NO condemnation... For God has done what the law,weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin,he condemned sin in the flesh... Romans 8:1-3

And John chimes in with,

In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  I John 4:10

Propitiation: the act of appeasing wrath. Webster's dictionary.

In our failures, our weakness, our brokenness, our flat-out sinfulness, Jesus Christ chose to die.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.              Romans 5:8

Wow! That right there should be enough to fill our hearts with joy. But God did not stop there. When we believe on Him, He gives us a gift:

In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him,were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.  Ephesians 1:13-14

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?   I Corinthians 6:19

Yes, I am broken. I am very broken. 

BUT THERE IS SOMEONE INSIDE OF ME WHO IS NOT!!!

Want to know what else? Sometimes, just sometimes, I can tap into the power that lives within me. I can walk in the joy and strength of my Lord. I can stand strong and boldly proclaim the faithfulness of my God while my world crumbles around me. In those moments, the joy of the Lord becomes my strength. His peace passes all earthly understanding of my circumstances. In those moments, those precious, fleeting moments, my flesh has no power over me, and I get it. I get what Paul meant when he said, 

...Walk in the Spirit and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.  Galatians 5:16 (KJV)

Then the moment is gone. But the memory lingers.

If only I could walk in the Spirit all the time! My heart cries. But I know why I can't. Walking in the Spirit is a powerful place. If the mundane didn't crash in on me, if I didn't sleep it off, if I didn't get distracted by the constant demands for my attention, then my pride would get in the way, I'd forget it was the Spirit's power, not my own, and I'd crash right back to earth.

So He gives us moments--glimpses of what it will be like when we walk with Him free from this sinful, broken, constantly failing flesh. He gives us the ability to walk partially in the Spirit when we cannot do it perfectly. Best of all, He gives us joy down in the deepest part of our being. Joy that bubbles and dances and seems completely immune to the chaos around us.

I cannot walk in the Spirit perfectly at all times. But, to the extant that I remember who Jesus is and the miracle of what He has done for me, I can walk in joy. 

His joy takes the edge off my frustrations, making it a tiny bit easier to be patient. His joy bubbles up to comfort me in my grief, my tears wiped away by His incredible love. His joy reminds me that I am forgiven, and so need to forgive others.  What is a thoughtless, if hurtful word spoken to me in the light of the deep offenses I've committed--offenses that cost Jesus His life?

He paid a debt He did not owe, to buy a sinner who could not pay Him back. In the light of that one truth, everything else fades. 

Have you met my Jesus? Oh, my friend, kneel at the cross and tap into His endless joy. Quit striving, and let His Spirit transform your life. Let His light shine through your cracks. 

Blessings, 

Jules

I Surrender...All?

                         

All to Jesus, I surrender

All to Him I freely give...

The words from the old hymn drift upward from the radio as I drive home on this lovely Spring day. What memories it brings back!

When I was young, I loved this song. I sang it with gusto. Of course I surrendered all to Jesus! I was completely secure in my "surrender;" maybe even a bit proud. 

I had no idea what I was talking about.

Fast forward twenty years--to a time when things had been taken away from me that I didn't know were up for discussion. A time when my well-planned life had completely fallen apart, and my hopes, dreams, expectations, and absolute assurances had all crumbled into dust. 

Suddenly, the song is not so easy to sing. Discussing the song with a new friend, we shook our heads together and agreed the song should not even be in the church repertoire, because no one could sing it truthfully. They either didn't know what "all" meant, or they were lying through their teeth.

That was four years ago, and once again my perspective has changed. 

Over the past ten years, I have been asked to surrender my church, my friends, my husband, the house I loved, my control...even my children. Instead of tossing the song aside as unrealistic, I have come to understand I do need to surrender all. I have also learned that "all" in this case actually means, "ALL."

Some things I fought God over for years before I finally surrendered--only to find my struggle had been keeping me from a beautiful treasure He wanted to give me. The surrender gets easier as I

1) acknowledge God's sovereignty and bow to His power over my weakness and

2) remember He is always working for His glory...and my good.

Sometimes I believe I have finally done it--finally surrendered it all. Pat myself on the back. What a good Christian I am!

But Jesus knows my heart, He sees the things I've hidden even from myself, and He wants it ALL. 

I'm walking along, minding my own business, thinking I'm doing pretty good at submitting to my Lord and WHAM! Out of nowhere, something I have held onto is ripped from my grasp.

"But Lord, YOU gave me that! I'm supposed to hold onto it." I protest in agony.

No answer. 

"You talked directly to Abraham and Samuel," I grumble under my breath.

Still no answer.

Reluctantly, rebellious to my core, I take it to the Lord in prayer.

"Lord, I confess I'm rebellious. I want to surrender, but I can't."

Then I remember. I really can't. Nor is it my job. My job is to do what I have just done: confess my weakness and inability to Christ. Through my tears, a calming peace steals over my soul. The answer, as always, is in the Word of God.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness." I John 1:9

I don't have to do this on my own. Slowly, I mentally pry open my fingers and ask my Lord to help me surrender even this thing to Him.

And He does.

All to Jesus I surrender

All to Him I freely give.

I will ever love and trust Him

In His presence daily live.

This song is not the self-righteous proclamation of the hypocrite. It is the heart cry of the true believer. As I sing the song, I am reminded right now, today, there are things I need to surrender. I sing in faith and humility and brokenness, opening my hands to release what I am clinging to in this moment.

Tomorrow there will be other things. Tomorrow I will need to sing the song again. And the day after tomorrow. And the day after that. And next week. And next year. And...you get the picture.

Is there something in your life you have not surrendered? Do you understand how much Jesus loves you and wants to mold it into something that will bring glory to Him and good to you?

Jesus is not jealous and spiteful. But He is jealous in His intense love for us, determined that nothing block the healing relationship He wants with us.

Many things He asks of us seem opposite to logic. Surrender in the world is defeat.

Surrender in Christ is victory.

Trust His plan, rest in His love, and let go of all else.

May your day be richly blessed, 

Jules

Growing Together - It Takes Two

"You know, Julie, when the Bible says to 'obey your husband', it is not referring to husbands who are not following the Lord."

Really?  Whoopee!  I'm off the hook.  Every time I disagree, I'll just decide my husband is not following the Lord!

I Peter 3:1-2*

3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Oops.  There went that excuse. Sigh.

Bombarded on every side by independent, worldly thinking, it is incredibly easy to buy into "Christian" feminism: "Only God has the right to tell me what to do!" (Completely ignoring the above scripture.)

However, experience has taught me that God knew what He was doing when He created men to be the head - and women to be the heart in our "becoming one" experience.

Several years ago, the church I had always attended went through a spiritual war.  My husband quietly quit going.  He never asked me to stop, but the Lord convicted me.  If I was going to truly submit and show the reverence the Bible asks of me, I had to let him take the lead.  I reluctantly told my husband I would not go unless he did.  He sighed as if a deep weight had fallen off his shoulders.

I thought he was wrong.  My family thought he was wrong.  The members of the church thought he was wrong.

A year later, a large group split off that church and formed a home church group.  These people had been so badly abused by the controlling new pastor, that my husband and I saw them as a spiritual ICU.

Following my husband, as painful as I thought it was at the time, had actually spared me an incredible amount of emotional injury.

Bringing it home, when was the last time you asked your husband if there was something you could do to please him?  Something he is reluctant to mention?  Ask him why he feels that way.  You may be surprised by his answer, as I have often been.  Once I know what he is thinking, it is often easier for me to yield...or at least have a direction - a discussion starter.

I could stop here, but it seems this is where everyone stops...at the husband's headship. However, the text does not stop here.  While reminding the ladies that the husband is their head, the following verses remind the gentlemen that their wives, their heart, needs something from them as well.

I Peter 3:7

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

If I could meddle just a bit more?  Husbands, please understand that your wife is an emotional creature. These emotions keep her soft toward you and your children.  They can also make her vulnerable to hurt and deception; easily lured by her love and desire to show mercy.

Once we left the church of my youth, I was lost.  My husband would have been content to build a wall around our home and never leave; completely willing for us to serve God in isolation.  However, understanding me, he saw that I desperately needed the support of other Christians.  We had no idea where to go, but it was up to him to take the lead.  As I bounced in my emotions from group to group, David was our stabilizer.  He kept us moving until we found a place our family could really fit.

If I were to ask one thing of husbands, it would be that they ask their wives what they need for comfort and strength during the hard times.  Women often hide their hurts, and you will either not know, or think they are just in a bad mood.  Sometimes all they need is a weekly coffee date.  A time when they know you will listen, and not write off their concerns as unimportant.

Why bother?

I Peter 3:7b

...so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Matthew 18:19-20

19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.

Is there some struggle in your spirit that you have been enduring silently?  Ask God for wisdom and guidance to bring you agreement on the subject.  It may be easier than you think.

The past seven years have been a difficult journey. It has been made easier because, after talking things through, we found ourselves in agreement on many of the struggles we faced.  Often one of us would feel we should take a certain path and be hesitant to mention it - only to find the other was thinking the same thing.

God gave us a promise that two would become one. Like many of His promises it is a process and requires time and discipline to see it fulfilled.

Hebrews 12:11

11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

We, as men and women, have been created completely differently.  It is God's delight to take our differences and weave them into a cohesive whole.  The fruit is worth the growing pains.

God Bless,

Jules




*Normally, I use the King James Version.  However, in this case the ESV states things a bit more clearly.  How can you have a conversation without a word?