Am I Saved?

I've had an interesting month.  It started with a Ladies' Retreat in Seattle.  I went because I wanted to see some friends I've not seen in a while.  The entire retreat was an echo of the grief that prompted me to write my previous post.  Women grieving for their children and grandchildren who are not serving the Lord.  Children who are being devoured by the world and the "I have a right to be happy" mentality... a mentality that ironically brings the opposite: anxiety and depressive self-centeredness that ends in misery and loneliness.  I prayed and grieved with these women, but had very little comfort to give.  I am struggling to teach my own children why the "I have a right to be happy" worldview can never succeed. The other reason that I could not give comfort is, of course, because none of these children are still at home.  Their mothers' time is done.  Mine has just begun.

Am I doing any better?

One of the most distressing things I witnessed at the Retreat was the testimony of one of the few younger women there.  In desperation, the moderator asked this 24-year-old why she was still in the church.  Her answer, "Because I follow the path of least resistance.  I'm still living at home... it is easier to go with my parents than not."  I am not making this up.  Even worse, no one saw a problem with her statement.

It broke my heart.

As the others smiled indulgently,  I cried over what I did not hear.  I did not hear, "I stayed because I love the Lord. Because Jesus died on the cross to cover my sins. Because I am hungry for the Word of God. Because I want to be with God's people. Because I want to serve the Lord."

"Because I am saved."

I did not hear those things because they are not there.  Because this young woman whom I care about very much is not saved.  Therefore, over time, the thin threads of family and friends and convenience that keep her darkening the church doors will fray and separate, and she, like so many before her, will be lost.

I do not want my children to be lost.

Yet, how can I help them, when I feel lost myself.  You see, I traveled over 6000 miles this summer.  I saw people from many different churches, and I learned something important.  The people who are saved?  You can see it in their eyes and in their life... and what I have seen in them I do not always see in me.  It is the life of Christ that bubbles out of them and brings peace, joy, and assurance no matter what their circumstances.  I have tasted it, but I do not live it.  And it is the one thing that can save my children.

But am I saved?  How can I lead my children to Christ if I am not saved?

I have a pedigree that reads like the Apostle Paul's.  My father was a minister in the church that I attended faithfully for 38 years.

But am I saved?

I was raised up under one of the greatest Bible teachers in the Body of Christ. I studied diligently.  I have been memorizing scripture since I was 5 years old.

But am I saved?

I served God's people faithfully.  I was in Band and Choir.  I made coffee every Sunday.  I was at every work-day, I worked long hours with no sleep every Conference.  I did it all with joy.

But am I saved?

Like Paul, I speak as a fool.

Because when my circumstances changed, my joy disappeared.  When I could no longer do the works, my faith crumbled.  If I could not do the works, God must not want me anymore.  How could I possibly be saved if I was not doing enough good works?

Can you hear it? The sound of works righteousness.  The sound of me trying to gain salvation through my own works.


James 2:18-20

18 Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.

19 Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.

20 But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?

This scripture is my creed.  Yet, in the end, my works could not save me.  My righteousness is nothing but filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6).  Oh, and when the scripture makes that statement, it isn't talking about ordinary dirt.  The actual translation would read "menstrual rags".  Ewww!

When I was attending to all the good works in the church, I never understood this scripture.  I understand it now.  When the peripheries were taken away and I had to focus on myself and my family, I found that all my knowledge and good works meant nothing.  In spite of all I "know" about how to be a good wife and mother, I find I fail at it every day.  I cannot do it by myself.  My own sense of righteousness is not enough; I have not the strength and the energy to show my husband the reverence God has asked of me, nor to show my children the patience and love they need on a daily basis.  All the good I thought I had has vanished in the daily grind of trying to be perfect through my own works.

Turns out, I am not saved.

I forgot Galatians 2:21-22

20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

21 I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.

I am a fantastic law keeper.  My mistake was in thinking that the law would save me.  "If I just dress right, attend the right church, pray right, serve right, then God will love me and bless me."  Then, when things go wrong, "I must not be doing something right.  Jesus, just tell me what to do and I'll do it.  What am I doing wrong?!"

The answer?  Nothing.  I need to be saved.  I need to understand that there is none good in themselves.  Jesus makes a point of this in Mark:
Mark 10:17-18

17 And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?

18 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.

What? Do you mean Jesus was not good?  That's not what He said. He said there is none good but God. The man was kneeling at His feet asking for eternal life. Did the man know that Jesus was the Christ? That He was God and therefore good? The Lord then tests him - He tells him to keep the law. The man proudly asserts he's done all that - he's been good. Has he really? Jesus asks him one more question:

21 Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.

22 And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions.

The man had bowed to Jesus and spoken to Him as though he believed He was the Messiah, yet was unwilling to follow Him. Why?

Romans 8:7-8

7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

8 So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

This man had done all he knew to do in the flesh, and it was not enough - it can never be enough.

What, then, must I do to be saved?

In Acts, there was another who asked that question.  Paul was thrown in prison.  The prison was hit with an earthquake that not only opened the prison doors, but also freed Paul and Silas from their chains.  But, instead of getting out while the getting was good, they stayed and preached to their jailer instead.  In awe at the power of their God, he asked that question:

Acts 16:27-31

26 And suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bands were loosed.

27 And the keeper of the prison awaking out of his sleep, and seeing the prison doors open, he drew out his sword, and would have killed himself, supposing that the prisoners had been fled.

28 But Paul cried with a loud voice, saying, Do thyself no harm: for we are all here.

29 Then he called for a light, and sprang in, and came trembling, and fell down before Paul and Silas,

30 And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved?

31 And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.

He and his house were saved.  Right then.  Right there.  They were not given a list of things to do, they were only asked to do one thing.  Just one.

Believe.

Okay, great! I believe.  Now what do I do to be saved?

Believe.

Yes, yes, then what?

Believe.

But I need to "work out my own salvation"... I need to earn this grace. I need to show I'm something special.  I need to...

Believe.

It is not up to me to make myself righteous. My righteousness is not just worthless, it is bloody and disgusting and needs to be thrown away - preferably burned. Only the righteousness of Jesus can make me clean.

Romans 5:18

18 Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life.

Jesus came that we might have life, that righteousness might reign in our hearts.  We cannot do it in ourselves, but must turn our eyes on Jesus who is the "author and finisher of our faith".  (Hebrews 12:2) What does that mean?  The author decides the outcome of the story.  He also decides every event that happens.  He even writes how we get through those events.  We can have faith that He is in control and so live in peace.

Romans 5:1-2

5 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

But everything is going wrong!  He's either not in control, or He just doesn't care about me anymore.

Believe.

Romans 5:3-5

3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Believe that our God does all things well.  Believe that what He is doing right now is to work His glory in your life.  He called you, specifically, because he loves you specifically.

John 14:6

6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

You would not even be interested in God if He had not drawn you, personally to Him.  Still think you can gain or destroy your own salvation?  Here is another scripture for you:

John 6:44

44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.

Not only did God draw you to His Son, but His Son has drawn you back to the Father. They are both interested in your salvation.  Did you read the last line?  Both God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ have predestined you for salvation.  You could not know nor care about Him otherwise.

This gives new meaning to Ecclesiastes 4:12

12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

You can resist, but they two will prevail against you.  What happens when you surrender?  When you allow yourself to become part of that threefold cord?

Romans 8:31

31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

Believe.

Having drawn you, He has no intention of letting you go.  Remember, He is not just the author of your faith, but also the finisher.

Romans 8:35-39

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Jesus does not lose those who are truly His.

Believe.

Lord, I believe.  Help thou mine unbelief.

Teaching Your Children With Your Grandchildren in Mind

Let me preface this one by pointing out that this is not what I do… it is what I see… what I wish I could remember during the day when all is craziness … what could make all the difference if I could but grasp its reality and let it work in my life.

Two years ago I went to an OCEAN conference in Portland, OR where one of the guest speakers was a gentleman named Voddie Baucham.  His keynote address was “Teaching Your Children with Your Grandchildren in Mind”.  For some reason, that phrase stuck to my mental wall like a banner, even though I didn’t really understand what it meant.  Here I am fumbling through my days with my children, desperately hoping to get them to adulthood without killing either them or myself in the process.  Hoping that they will somehow find my savior in spite of my mistakes and failures.  Praying that God will have mercy on me and show them His grace.  I despair at times of teaching my children…and you want me to think about my grandchildren?  Lord, have mercy!

Nevertheless, the phrase stays with me; and through this journey we are on, I am beginning to catch a glimpse of what Rev. Baucham meant. (For those who don’t know, we have taken my husband’s business on the road.)  In the small town of Orofino, ID, I met an absolutely lovely woman who embodies the kind of woman I have always wanted to be:  a Titus 2 woman from whom I would have loved to learn.  Understand that I met her only for a day, and never met her children or grandchildren.  From this gracious, godly woman, I gathered that her children were serving the Lord.  Then I heard it.  The grief in her voice as she spoke of her beloved grandchildren…who were not saved.

In the even smaller town of Stites, ID, a week or two later, I heard it again.  The pastor of a church we visited, speaking of his children, who were, from what I understood, Christian, and of his granddaughter, who was not.  There was the grief again.  These lovely, godly people who had raised their children to serve the Lord were now watching their grandchildren embrace the world, despising the God of their fathers – and mothers.

Teaching your children with your grandchildren in mind.  What does that mean?  How do you make that happen?  How can I teach my children without losing my grandchildren?  I am only responsible for my children, aren’t I?  How can I possibly be responsible for my grandchildren?  A verse comes to my mind.

Genesis 18:19

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁹ For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

God chose Abraham because he taught not only his children, but also those who would come after him to keep the way of the Lord.  God didn’t just call Abraham.  He called the generations that came after him.  Could it be that when God called me, He also called my family, in all its generations?  How do I fulfill that call? If these good, solid Christian people could not affect their generations beyond their children, how can I?  What went wrong?  Is it just that the world’s pull is so much stronger this generation than the last?

I can’t know that, I do not know these people.  Yet their grief pulls at my heart, and I feel I need an answer…before their grief becomes my own.

Teaching your children with your grandchildren in mind.  What are we missing?  If  I had to guess, I might say that, while the parents had a solid relationship with God, the children only caught the forms without the reality, and thus had nothing solid to pass to their children.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I do know dear friends who have served the Lord faithfully yet have children that see only the form…the religion…  Children who, if they did stay in church, it was only for the social life.  I can’t know where their grandchildren will be in 15 years.  It is not my responsibility to know.  But if it is so difficult to pass one’s faith on to one’s own children, how can one possibly reach one’s grandchildren?  The salvation of my generation, the children raised in the same  manner as I,  seems very arbitrary… most of us believing in God, but many embracing the world more than the Bible.  Few display the faithfulness of their parents, and less are passing such things on to their children.  What makes the difference?  I don’t know.

What do I know?  I know that I was certainly not raised with grandchildren in mind.  No, the world was supposed to end and the Great Tribulation be finished long before I could have children.  I was taught very little about being a wife or raising children…I was supposed to be with Christ before that could happen.  Obviously, things haven’t quite worked out that way.  As I look back, I realize that I was not taught much at all about serving God in the home.  That job was left up to the church.  We were in church at least 3, sometimes 7 days a week; we attended the church school; we were saturated in the “Christian” way of life.  I loved it.  My brother (and many others), said, “This isn’t life,” and walked away…to try and find life.

Now, here I am.  Trained to let the church train my children…yet without a church.  What I learned about God through osmosis, my children are not learning.  While we go visiting different churches on Sundays, it simply does not have the same impact.  I was not taught to teach my own children.

While I pray that, one day, we will again have a church family, the burden for teaching my children about God and His Word now rests squarely on my shoulders.  Where, coincidentally, it actually belongs. (By “my”, I mean myself and my husband… we are, after all, supposed to be one.)  I do not want my father to lose his grandchildren.  Nor do I want to lose my own.  I do not want my children to be sitting in my seat, saying, “How can I possibly teach my children about God?”  I want to teach my children, so that they will know how to teach their children.

How do I do that? 

I start by taking a good hard look at what I am teaching them now.  My children see me at my tasks.  They do not see when I pray at my tasks.  My children hear the decisions I make.  They do not see the scriptures in my heart that cause me to make those decisions.  My children see my failures…they see me blow up and go hide in my room with my m&m's.  They do not see me turn to my Heavenly Father for help.  

I pray silently, because somehow I was taught that praying out loud was religious, and being religious was a synonym for being a hypocrite…praying aloud to be seen by men.

Matthew 15:8

King James Version (KJV)

⁸ This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.

I do not want to be one of those, so I pray silently.  My children do not hear, nor know of my prayers.  Why would they pray at their own tasks?

As a child, I went to a church school where we memorized scripture after scripture.  I loved the Word of God and refreshed my memory of those verses again and again.  Now, as a busy mother, those precious words are often with me and effect in some manner or other nearly every thing that I do.  My children do not know those scriptures.  They rarely hear me quote them…nor do they see me read my Bible, as I rarely have time.  Those memorized scriptures are the Bible I read on many days.  I need to be speaking them out loud when I think of them, letting my children know, letting them hear the difference that God's Word makes.  And I must, I must be more faithful at teaching them to memorize scriptures so that they will have them hidden in their own hearts when the time comes to make decisions.  They need to hear me speak aloud to them, so that they will find it normal to speak aloud to their own children.  Let me teach them the scriptures, so that they will teach their children the scriptures.

When I was young, I believed that my Saviour loved me, and I went to Him for everything.  Now, I try to do it all in my own strength, and I fail, and I hide my failures in m&m’s and computer games, sure that the Lord cannot love me with the horrible bad spirit I feel welling up inside me, too ashamed to even cry out to Him for help.  What is this teaching my children?

This cannot be.  Not if  I want grandchildren who are serving the Lord.  What am I to do?  I have forgotten the Lord who sustained me when I was young.  I serve instead a God who is angry and unforgiving… because I am angry… and tired… and lost.  How do I get back to that girl who rested in her Father’s love?

Ecclesiastes 12:1

King James Version (KJV)

12 Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them;

I have seen some evil days, and years that I do not wish to remember.  It is time to remember my Creator from the days of my youth.  The God who was my friend and constant companion… before I became too busy to look to Him.  It is time to stop running.  Instead of hiding away when the frustrations become unbearable, could I not drop to my knees and cry out to my Jesus for help?  If  I won’t do it for myself, can I not do it for my children?  And for my grandchildren?  Instead of teaching my children that life is impossible, perhaps I could teach my children that my strength is not enough, but my Lord is able.

2 Corinthians 12:9

King James Version (KJV)

⁹ And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Teaching my children with my grandchildren in mind.  Not just teaching my children the three R’s and some Bible stories, and that it’s good to fellowship with other Christians now and again, but also teaching them how to teach their own children when the time comes.

I was taught salvation was individual.  And it is.  I was taught that I could not pass on my salvation to my children.  That is also true.  Yet, if you look through the Old Testament, it is clear that God not only calls individuals, He calls whole families.  How much impact can you have for God as an individual vs. how much impact you could have if you stood for God as a family instead?  Individualism is an American construct that we value quite highly.  However, I think it would please the Lord if more of us could stand boldly before him and state, as Joshua did,

Joshua 24:15

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁵ And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

We surely do live in a land full of Amorites, but we do not have to give up and feed them our children.  Let us bring God into our house in such a way that our whole household serves the Lord; that salvation may come not just to us, but to our children and our children’s children.  That the glory of the Lord may sooner come to fill all the earth (Numbers 14:21), and that our families may be a part of it … from generation to generation.

Genesis 17:7

King James Version (KJV)

⁷ And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee.

Oh, Lord, let us catch a vision of a continuing seed… that we are not selfish to keep our salvation to ourselves, but we purpose in our hearts to let His covenant be established not just with us, but also with our seed after us.  This will not happen by accident.  We must

Teach our children with our grandchildren in mind.

Singles

Okay, this is an odd one. Be forewarned, you may disagree with some of my thoughts. My thoughts are neither Bible nor the voice of God. Check them out with the scriptures yourself and feel free to discard what doesn't line up... but please remember I am still on a journey, and still learning.


The church where I grew up had a dormitory where many singles lived. It wasn't planned, we just happened upon a cheap piece of property when looking for a place to build our church building. The dorm happened to be on the property and seemed a good place for single people to live. My family lived right next to the property when I was growing up and I loved prowling around the grounds and attending various functions on the campus. I even lived there for a year or so before I married. Bro. Baxter saw the dorm as an excellent place to show hospitality and to promote fellowship within the church family. It did work that way at first, but as time went on and young, outgoing singles turned into old maids and bachelors, the residents of the dorm quit engaging in hospitality and tended to retreat to their cells. The dormitory became more like a cloister than a dorm.

Thinking about it, the term "dormitory" implies someplace temporary, like a college campus or a campground. It worked that way for me, and several other young people. However, attitudes changed when it became a permanent residence for people. Looking back, it seems that the building, while providing a safe place for single women, also discouraged women (not so much men) from reaching for their full potential in God.

What do I mean by that?

It all goes back to creation. Woman was created because man needed her. Gen. 2:



18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.



Men seem to know that they should not be alone, and from this woman's perspective, are not fully content single, although they may accept singleness as the Lord's will. Women, on the other hand, take this scripture and say, "Men may need women, but I don't need anyone!" (Our feminist culture has ensured that we think this way.)

The fact is, women DO need men. We need them for protection, and for direction, if not for provision.

What happened in the dorm? Single women were kept safe and protected by the building and the men who lived there (on a completely separate floor, by the way); and when their emotions got the better of them and they needed direction, Bro. Baxter's door was always open. In essence, he unintentionally took the place of a husband - without the joining and the fulfilling purpose of a marriage. A little bit like the scripture found in Isaiah 4:1



And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.



Ouch. We did not recognize this attitude at the time. Nor do I think it was true of those who married. However, many of the women who stayed in the dorm became ultra-independent and developed extremely negative attitudes toward marriage and men. For example, at a bridal shower recently we were being asked to give advice on marriage to the soon-to-be bride. One of these women said simply, "Don't do it". Followed by a barrage of negative comments on men and marriage and the benefits of remaining single. Yes, she may have held these views before she lived in the dorm, but the dorm life did nothing to encourage a more positive viewpoint.

By the time the church exploded and the dorm essentially closed down 30 years later, there was a plethera of single women, most in their 40's and 50's, and none with any desire to change their status.

Some of these women will never marry because that is God's will, but some of them will never marry because they have decided they don't need a man, and do not understand the very purpose for which they were created. They have never been taught these things (I never was), and have, in fact, been taught that they can serve the Lord much better as a single. (Seed on good ground brought forth fruit, some thirty some sixty, some an hundredfold... singles bring forth the hundredfold, but couples can only do sixty, and those poor idiots with children, only produce thirtyfold in fruit to the Lord)

Where do we get such ideas?

Try I Cor. 7



34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.



i.e. The distraction of a wife and children or husband and children, as the case may be. It is right there in the Bible. Family is bad, a distraction from serving the Lord. Paul said so. How many children have been lost from the family of God because preacher dad wanted to prove that he did not care for the things of the world and would not allow himself to be "distracted" by his children? It's not dad's fault, he was just trying to be like Paul. Unfortunately, the result has been that the very term "preacher's kid" is synonymous with a rebellious spirit and a wild lifestyle.

As for the single women of my church family (I can't speak for others), many of them took this seriously and would not even look for a husband, firmly believing they could not fully serve God if they were married.

Oh, Paul. Did you have any idea how much trouble you were causing with that one little chapter? How many thousands of men and women would hide themselves away from the world and ignore completely the purpose of their creation so that they could "better serve the Lord"? How many "preacher's kids" would be lost to sin because their fathers deemed them a "distraction"?

It is interesting that our whole attitude on marriage comes from I Cor. 7... a chapter written by a man who had no real understanding of marriage and who confesses he is speaking by permission and not by commandment.



6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.



There you have it. Marriage is for people who cannot contain themselves.


But that is not what the rest of the Bible says. Should we discount the entire body of scripture on men and women based on one chapter? Man did not ordain marriage. God did. Right from the beginning, from the creation of the first man and the first woman: Before a man had a father and mother, he was told to leave his father and mother and become one flesh with his wife. This union is so important that Paul (the same Paul who wrote 1 Cor 7) later wrote to Timothy (I Tim. 4) that to forbid this union, a person must



1 ...depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;

2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;

3 Forbidding to marry, ...



"Oh, this scripture doesn't mean you are supposed to get married, just that you shouldn't forbid it."


Really? If marriage is unimportant, why is the language so strong?


Don't get me wrong, there are people, like Paul, whom God has called to be single.  However, before we start thinking that this is the optimal state for a Christian, we need to remember a few things.


First, I Cor. 7 was written in direct response to a question from the church in Corinth... and we don't know what the question was, but we do see unmarried Paul uncomfortably answering questions that concern the physical side of marriage. It makes one wonder if our interpretation of those verses might be different if we knew the original question.


Second, God never does anything without a reason. He could have made us unisex, but he chose to make men and women completely different from each other. On purpose. Intentionally. We don't think alike, yet we are supposed to become one. Why?


Because something happens when those opposites merge. We were not created as whole creatures. Adam was, but when God created Eve, He divided something that was whole. As an individual, I am only half a being in God's eyes. God can use me, but to reach my full potential, I truly do need my other half.


Why? Because only when we are joined together can we produce godly seed. Any male and female can produce seed. But God wants a godly seed. He wants His glory to fill the earth. (See my blog Why Are We Here?) He wants the earth to be filled with people who serve and love him.


After 16 years of marriage, I've noticed something interesting. The differences in David and I are like puzzle pieces coming together. We do not fit, we are not on the same page, we "discuss", we don't fit, we get frustrated, we "discuss"... repeat, repeat, re...HEY! WE FIT! How did that happen? Not only have our differences suddenly come together, but they came together to form something better than what we had before. A clearer picture of what Jesus is forming in our lives.


The process is, at times, excruciating. No wonder the elders were told to have only one wife! Yet, the strength and beauty that is created as each piece is put together cannot be duplicated any other way. As a woman, I can only have half a picture. Other women can help me focus my half of the picture, but only MY man can supply the other half.


Yes, I put "MY" in caps on purpose. To try fitting my pieces with another man's is to try becoming one in thought with another man... I call that spiritual adultery. (see my blog Should Women Be Silent?). The problem with uniting my thoughts with some other man's is that he may not see it the way my husband does. Not only am I fitting with another, but my doing so would then create a wedge between myself and the man God gave me. A clear violation of Matthew 19:6


Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.


What does this say to single women? It says that when they are following another woman's man, and trying to fit their thought patterns to his, they are, in essence, coming between that man and his wife. Also, they are providing for themselves (eating their own bread), subject to no one but themselves (wearing their own apparel), yet proclaiming themselves subject to their pastor, being named as one of his sheep, so that they appear holy and submissive (being called by his name to take away their reproach). (This is dangerous for both single and married women. For example, I was at one time told to obey my pastor, rather than my husband, and a friend was told to leave her husband because, "I can save you, but there's no hope for him." Praise the Lord for His mercy, we both chose to join ourselves to our husbands instead of to another man!) Therefore, back to I Cor. 7



2 Nevertheless, to avoid (spiritual) fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.



Yes, I added the "spiritual". We need to be careful, married or single, not to join our spirits with one to whom we are not married.


Once again, I do understand: some are truly called to be single. God can grant these the grace to follow Him, and not be joined to another, naturally or spiritually. If this is you, then, like Paul, God may have a specific purpose for your life. I only ask that you consider... are you willing to be part of a larger union if that is what God wants for you?


Let your heart be open. Seek the Lord's will. Repent, if your heart is hard and your attitude rebellious. Then... leave it in the Lord's hands. He will provide exactly what you need.



Love in Christ,

Jules

A Godly Woman?

What does it mean to be a woman of God?

So many different demands on my day.  So many different messages.  You need to be a "full" person - have a career, have a hobby, do something for yourself.  Yeah, right.  When, exactly?  Spend time in prayer, reading the Bible, exercising.  You bet.

I am a wife, and helpmeet.  I keep the house, plan the meals for my man (whose dietary needs change on a regular basis), play nurse, update business records, and do finances.

I am a mother.  The peacemaker.  The one who balances the emotional needs of eight different people.  I comfort, solve conflicts, teach, plan lessons, get snacks, make meals, clean up, play nurse some more, and make sure there is a time/place for at least a little exercise while living in a 33 foot RV.

Today, I was awake at 7:00 AM.  It is 10:45 PM when the demands on me are done (until my husband is ready for me to bandage his foot), and I can spend a few minutes doing what I want to do.

Hobby?  Hmmm... I know!  I can crochet while we drive to the next piano tuning appointment.

Bible?  If the morning goes halfway decently, I can incorporate it into the beginning of our homeschool time.  Most of the time, I'm frantically trying to get breakfast, clean up from breakfast, take care of the this and thats, while calling over my shoulder to squabbling children that they need to start their schoolwork.  After which, I'm playing catch up checking their schoolwork, reading instructions to the beginning readers and having them read to me, and, hopefully, getting a little instruction in to my pre-reader while fending off the bored two-year-old who wants to play.  When things finally settle down enough that I can actually do Bible with the kids, David is coming out from his appointment, and we're rushing to the next appointment... where it's time to make lunch, and clean up etc.

Prayer?  We do that on the fly.

Career/self-fulfillment?  You're joking, right?  My career is my children.  The closest thing I get to self-fulfillment is this blog... which you may notice only gets posted once in a while.

Understand, I am not complaining.  Not really. I'm just saying... I don't seem to fit with the examples I've seen held up of "godly" women.

Don't get me wrong.  I love the Elizabeth Eliots.  I truly admire these women who get up at 5:00 AM so that they can have their prayer/Bible time.  I've tried, but I can't.  I'm just too tired.  Does that make me an ungodly woman?  A bad Christian?

Let's see... I go to Proverbs 31, THE chapter on what a  woman should be and do.  Yep, there it is...  Proverbs 31:15  "She rises while it is yet night and"  reads her Bible and prays and... wait a minute, she isn't praying... or studying... or ... you name it.  She "giveth meat to her household..."  The woman is fixing breakfast!  I do that.  Her prayer time must be in another verse.  Let's see...

Vs. 11  "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her..."  I can vouch for that.  I may not be the best wife ever... but my husband thinks I am.  He knows that I may not do everything right, but I will always be there for him, and I will keep his secrets (as long as I know they are secrets), and I will never knowingly betray him.  I can do this verse.

Vs. 13 "She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands."  I don't know about the wool and flax, but I do work a lot with my hands.  My failure as a Christian woman must be in a later verse.

Vs. 14  "She bringeth her food from afar."  I'm not sure that applies to today... unless the Japanese noodles I picked up at Uwajimaya count.  Or oranges from California, and bananas from wherever they grow bananas. :)

Vs. 15  We covered this.  I feed my family breakfast.

Vs. 16 "She considereth a field and buyeth it.  With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard."  Well, this verse isn't really a possibility right now, but I do garden whenever I am able.

Vs. 17  "She girdeth her loins with strength, she strengtheneth her arms."  Hey, look, exercising is in the Bible... or at least standing strong and not complaining.  By my interpretation, I am o.k. here.

Vs. 18 ..."her candle goeth not out by night".  Yep, I'm up all hours doing various and sundry tasks.

Vs. 19  Well, we don't usually spin our own material anymore, so I think I can skip this one... at least until we buy a farm and get some sheep.

Vs. 20  "She stretcheth out her hand to the poor, yea, she reacheth out her hands to the needy."  Um, I may be a little short here... does taking stuff to Salvation Army count?

Vs. 21  "She is not afraid of the snow for her household..."  Yes, I make sure my household has proper clothing.

Vs. 23 "Her husband is known in the gates..."  O.K. I can't control that one... except to make sure that my reputation does not tarnish his.

Vs. 26 "She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness."  This one I need to work on... but with the Lord's help, I am working on it.

Vs. 27 "She looketh well to the affairs of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness."

I think this verse says it all.  Yes, I am looking to the affairs of my household to the  best of my ability... and I do not spend much time in idleness.

There it is folks.  I am not perfect.  I do not have time to spend acting "holy", joining women's Bible studies, or various functions.  I don't have hobbies nor a lot of private time.  But I can fulfill much of what I see in Proverbs 31.  That makes me feel a little better.

I think we ladies sometimes need to encourage ourselves with what we are doing, rather than what we are not.

We need to remember:

Vs. 30  "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but the woman who fears God, she shall be praised."

This is the most important part.  Do you love the Lord?  Do you fear God?  All else will fall into place as long as these two things are covered.

Lift up your heads, mothers.  God does not ask the impossible.  Jesus died to cover our failures.  We can praise him and strengthen our arms with the knowledge of a God who sees our needs and our efforts.  Quit looking at what others say you should do and rest in what the Word of God asks you to do.

Matthew 6:33  "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."

What is the kingdom of God?  It is the place where God's will is done.  What is God's will for a woman?  After Proverbs 31, the next place to look is in Titus 2:4-5, where the Bible clearly states what is expected of a woman.  She is to learn to be "sober, love her husband, love her children, be discreet, chaste, a keeper of the home, good, and obedient to her own husband" (not someone else's or another man).  It may sound like a long list, but if taken thought by thought, is it not what we try to do anyway?  Do we not already love our husbands and children? Strive to be sober, discreet, chaste, and good?  If we are not keeping our house, who is?  The most difficult part is sometimes being obedient to our own husbands.  Yet, if we are striving to be one with our husband, obedience is not a chore because we are simply learning to want what he wants, and to line our priorities up with his.  If my goal is the same as my husband's, I am not burdened by obedience, I am simply working together with him as his helpmeet... the cause for which I was created.

What else does the Word of God ask of us?

I Thes. 5:17 "Pray without ceasing." and Philippians 4:6 "Be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God".

Let's face it.  If praying had to be done on our knees without ceasing, we would all starve to death.  Our prayers can be while making dinner and doing the dishes.  Certainly there needs to be a prayer in our heart while planning lessons and working with our children.  Let Jesus be part of everything.  Keep him close to your heart as you do your daily tasks.  He will help you to be that Proverbs 31 woman.

Then, at the end of the day, go to sleep in peace, knowing that, if you were supposed to do it today, He would have helped you to do it.

Let Jesus be your strength, and your peace.  Take one day at a time.  Make sure that the tasks you set for yourself are those He asks of you; not what another places on you.  For He promised that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matt. 11:30)

Take Him at His Word.

May God Bless You All,

Jules

A New Year

Had an interesting conversation today with the cashier at WinCo.  She was very friendly and open, so I dragged myself out of my current shell to say, "May blessings rain down on you this coming year!"

She answered, "And may you not have an umbrella when they come."

I wanted to laugh, but I was too busy choking.  (Think Voddie Baucham, "If you can't say, 'Amen', you ought to say, 'Ouch'!)  This was a HUGE Ouch! moment for me.  An umbrella to block the rain of blessings?  What does that mean?  Somehow, I think this is a big one... and I am guilty.  But, in the spirit of "surely I'm not the only one", I thought I would pass the guilt on. :)

The past 5 years have been a horrible, stormy time in my life.  In the storms swirling all around me, I don't just carry an umbrella, I've got a full, EPA approved, hazmat suit.  Sometimes the storms calm down for a little while, the sun peeks through and the clouds retreat to the horizon.  Do I take off my hat and lift my face to the sun in relief?  Absolutely not!  I see those storm clouds looming, ready at any moment to come swirling back!  I pull my suit tighter around me and check my umbrella for rips.

What does this mean in real life?

It means that my children never hear me laugh.  It means that my husband rarely sees me smile.  It means that no matter who I am with or what I am doing, I am always guarded... always doubtful that anything good will come out of any situation... sure that if I dare enjoy the moment, it will mean that the storms of grief and loss and fear will be that much harder to bear when they sweep in.  No, it is better to remain unhappy all the time, than to enjoy the ups when they come.

I don't actually think through all of this, you understand, but looking back at my life over this past year, this is how I think.

And yet....

"May you NOT have an umbrella when the rain of blessings come."

The umbrella of fear and unbelief; of doubt and self-preservation; of past loss and grief.

I came home from the store, opened my mom's devotional for December 31st, (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest ... you may have heard of it.) and found another interesting statement:

Ecc. 3:15 (I had to look it up, he only quoted the last line)

"That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past."

What does that mean?  You can check out the context if you like, it didn't help me much.  The verse seems to stand by itself among the other verses.

God REQUIRES that which is past.  He's not just God of the past.  He doesn't just cover our past.  He wants us to give ... GIVE Him that which is past.  Completely. Totally.  We do not get it back.

He is not suggesting.  He is not saying, "Well, if you can't handle it, I'll take it."  NO!!!  He REQUIRES our past.  It is a must.  He does not care if you want to hold on to it ... He does not consider whether or not you think you are strong enough to bear it... He does not even weigh whether the things in your past are good or bad, beautiful or ugly, or a mixed bag.  He wants it ALL.

Give it to Him.

Do not hold the disappointment, grief, nor even the joy of the past over your head like an umbrella.  Those things will block the blessings that are to come.

This is a New Year.  It is time to let go of self-preservation and throw myself into the teeth of the storm with only my faith in God as my shield... Faith that covers me when the storms come, yet opens me to the glory of God when the raging sea calms and the showers of blessing come down.

Lord Jesus, please help us to let go of the past things that hold us back.  Let us release them into Your hands and step out unafraid, knowing that You are our shield and our fortress, and that You are able to keep us no matter what comes our way in the future. Thank-You for Your love and Your mercy, and, most of all, Your patience.  Amen.

Now...

"...Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, (let us) press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."  Phil. 3:13

May God rain blessings on you all this coming year... and may you not have an umbrella when they come.

Jules